Construction Trailblazers: Paving The Way to Excellence

[00:00:00] Navigating the shift from being one of the team to leading the team is a super tough transition in management, but it's also where real leadership can begin. Welcome to Construction Trailblazers Paving the Way to Excellence, where we dive into innovation, success, and streamlined excellence in the building industry.

I'm Samantha C. Prestidge, your host and ally in simplifying operations and empowering dynamic teams. I know the transformative effects of adopting people focused, tech forward, lean practices. These changes not only boost company revenue, but also restore peace of mind for owners overwhelmed by the daily chaos.

Today, we're tackling that tricky transition from peer to manager. How to find your footing, earn respect, and lead with confidence without losing the personal connections that matter. If you're ready to leave behind the daily firefighting and move toward a streamlined operation with a team [00:01:00] that consistently delivers success, then you're in the right place.

Discover more about us and catch up on past episodes at ConstructionTrailBlazers. com. Alright, I completely understand how tough of a transition it is to go from being someone's colleague to then being their boss. I get that's a really uncomfortable space to be in, especially when you have to give instructions or give feedback.

It can feel awkward. It can be uncomfortable. It's a totally different ball game and you're not just changing your job title, you're changing your entire role and how you would interact with your team. Let me tell you, I have been there. For those of you who don't know, my mom is actually my operations manager.

Let me say I know I'm incredibly lucky to work with her. Not only do I know she's got my back personally as her daughter, but she's also fully invested in the success of the business. And that is an unmatched level of loyalty and respect that I [00:02:00] absolutely love having on my team. And I know that it's totally rare to be able to have a great working relationship with your mom.

I've got to be honest, when we first started working together, I was really nervous to start assigning tasks. I mean, I was so excited to have her on the team. I knew that she had all the skill sets to excel on the team and in her role. But, how many of us have actually told our mom to do anything? Usually, it's been more of a polite request for anything, especially now, as a mom myself, it's more of like, Hey mom, would you mind watching the kids this weekend?

And that is very different than saying, Mom, I need you to do this and this for this client by this date. Totally different vibe. And that's really what this episode is about. Navigating those awkward, sometimes nerve wracking transitions from being peers, in this case, family members, to then being the one who has to step up and lead.

That's what we're It's about finding that balance between maintaining those personal [00:03:00] connections while still establishing yourself as a leader who can confidently guide the team, because whether it's your mom, your best friend, or just someone you've worked alongside with for years, that transition is not easy, but it's absolutely doable.

And today we're going to dive into some of the practical tips to help you not just navigate this transition, but to really feel confident in leading your team. So let's get into it. The very first thing you need to do to lead your team confidently is to have alignment with your team. This is going to sound a little cliche, but remember that you're still on the same team.

Now, I am not telling you to go out and give your guys a speech about how you're still average Joe. You're still their friend. It's all fine. Honestly, I think that's really just inviting them to test you depending on the type of. What I mean by alignment here is that remembering that you want the company to be [00:04:00] successful and you want your team to be successful.

And at the end of the day, your team is still comprised of just people, right? People that want respect, that want empathy, that want to feel valued and heard. So if you can keep in mind, We all want to be successful today. And I'm going to remember to lead with compassion and respect for my people. Then that's going to take you a long way in navigating some of the tricky and awkward moments with your team.

Now, your team might still want to test you, even if this is a very close relationship and friendship that you have with some of the members of your team. They might still be testing the waters, feeling out, you know, what really is your leadership style. What might they be able to get away with because now you're their boss and you guys used to be so buddy, buddy, whatever it is, you're going to have moments where you're going to need to establish some boundaries and you're going to need to give feedback and you need to do that in a way that you don't come off as an asshole boss.

Honestly, not everyone is going to like you all the [00:05:00] time. Now, as a, as a manager, you're going to need to be okay with that, but. Ideally, we're not losing everyone's respect in the process. Ideally, we can hold on to some of these personal connections and still feel like we have a friendship with some of these people, even if you are the one in charge and the one making a little bit more money now.

So, let's just say, for instance, that someone is trying to cut corners now because they think that you're their buddy, or maybe even you made some of these mistakes when you were the colleague, and Your guys manager didn't catch that, but because you know that these mistakes were being made, you have an awareness of this now as the manager.

So now you're in a position where you need to correct their work and give them feedback. This is really going to stretch your conflict resolution skills. This is something I work on so much with my clients in our Trailblazers of Excellence course because it's a major part of effective management. So we're going to stretch some conflict resolution skills, which at the end of the day, still come back to respect, right?

and empathy for [00:06:00] healthy conflict. So, them why something wasn't done correctly in a way that's not meant to offend anybody. And this is not advice because I'm afraid that you're gonna step on toes. It's Honestly, if we get practical about this, it's about wanting to get to the bottom of something and knowing that if you piss somebody off, it's just going to take you a whole lot longer to get to the bottom of it and find that solution.

So we're going to have some respectful empathy while still getting to the bottom of it with a question like, can you tell me what happened here? I'm not seeing that we did X, Y, Z steps in the process. And you're going to allow them to explain. You're just going to leave this open ended. Don't feel the need to ramble.

You're just asking them a question and giving them the chance to explain themselves. When it comes to conflict resolution and leadership, always put yourself in a position to speak less and listen more at first. Give them the chance to own up to something. That will help you understand, [00:07:00] you know, what solution you need to take next with them.

Or give themselves the chance to catch themselves, giving them an excuse, or putting themselves in their own corner. You don't need to back them up into a wall. If someone made a mistake and they have low integrity, they're going to work themselves into the corner. You don't need to do it for them. So simple, open ended questions here, where you speak less and listen more.

Now, if their explanation isn't up to par, maybe they did make a mistake, Maybe they do have low integrity in this work. Hopefully not, because they were your friends, and hopefully you had, you know, really honest friends. But if they didn't take it upon themselves to own up to their mistake when you asked, then you'll follow up with explaining what needed to happen instead and why.

So we really need to follow the process in this way, because not doing these steps means X, Y, Z. and explain the impacts of it. We're always going to put something in the context of why. This is advice for whether someone is your peer from before and you have a friendship or you're [00:08:00] totally new to the team in the first place.

Anytime we can give our employees the why of something and get them in that big picture thinking. We want to jump on those opportunities because it's going to save us headaches in the long run. Now, whether they own up to it or not, whether you had to explain what the real process was and why it matters, you're going to give them steps on how they can avoid it next time, no matter what.

Alright, unless they say, this is what I'm going to do next time to avoid this, unless they very clearly say that, then you need to take it upon yourself to specify what the expectations are for the next time they do this. And I don't want you to say anything smug, like, I better not see this again, or I've got my eyes on you next time, type of situation.

Again, we are being respectful, empathetic leaders here, because that's the easiest way to meet our, because that is the easiest way to keep our team on track, and not have to deal with more conflict in the future. So at the very least, if you [00:09:00] struggle with compassion, if you struggle with, having that empathy when other people make mistakes.

Hopefully we can work on that, but just think of it at the end of the day. If you need to think of this in selfish terms, just think if you're able to do this with compassion and respect the first time around, it's going to save you headache. It's going to make it easier for you because you have less conflict to deal with.

Okay. So again, we're not going to say the, I better not see this again, type of thing, because then we're just treating them like toddlers. And I know that I had an episode on the similarities between managing employees and parenting a few weeks ago, but really the moral of that episode was that we're all people and have basic emotional human needs.

That being said, you're again, going to put yourself in a position to ask a question and speak less. You might ask something like, do you need more support in order to follow these steps next time? Cut it off. Don't ramble. Don't add anything. Like, because clearly you didn't do it right this time. Don't add anything snarky to [00:10:00] this.

It is a simple open ended question where they are putting themselves in a place to explain. They are owning up to their mistakes and they are hopefully resolving this issue during the conversation. And now they have another opportunity to say, This is what I will do next time to avoid this. If they still don't have a great answer, then you can say, Hey, I'm happy to support you on the next go round.

Or if you have a struggle on following this process, the next time, fill me in, pull me into this and let's see what we can do. Offer that hand, offer that olive branch. So we're still holding onto that friendship and that respect, but also establishing, Hey, I'm here to help you. I am your manager. And here are the expectations.

Here's what we need to be doing. Not meeting these expectations is unacceptable. Doing this in a very respectful way. Now, I don't know totally if using my working relationship with my mom is fair, because honestly, she takes so much pride in her work. So if she messes up on [00:11:00] something, she's immediately explaining what went wrong and saying how she's going to fix it and apologizing for the mistake and we're moving on.

Now sometimes, there are moments where we disagree on how something might get done. done. We might disagree on some strategy. We might disagree on the action plan for some strategy or the pros and cons of something. At the end of the day, there's still that respect where she understands this is my business and I'm leading the vision here.

But I'm also respecting her, not just as my mom, but as a member of my team. So having a friend on my team actually motivates me Me to be the better leader, to be the leader that she deserves. And that's how I would encourage you to approach it with your teams. So understanding that, hey, having a friend on my team is actually motivation for me to be the best boss for me, to be a mentor, for me to not, you know, be the asshole boss that maybe we've experienced before.

And when I run into issues with my mom, I can still say something along the lines [00:12:00] of, I really think that this is how it needs to be done, and here's why. Again, I'm opening up the conversation of, this is what I think the pros and cons are, here's what I think the impacts are, and that why. Here's the big picture thinking that I want you to think with.

If I'm missing something, let me know. And I invite her into that conversation. And again, those are, that's, that's an example for higher level conversations. More often than not, you're most likely going to be in a position where it's more execution and fixing mistakes on simple steps in a process.

So we should be able to resolve that with all the examples from before. Why did this not happen? Do you need support doing this next time? Here are the expectations. Here's why we, have to meet these expectations because this is the impact on other team members or on the project later on, whatever that is.

I really want to emphasize here that you can hold on to those friendships. So in a previous role that my husband was in, he was really good friends with someone on his team. Now they did not start [00:13:00] out as friends. This person was hired on after my husband started and they developed a friendship over time.

He was still always in that manager position. The friendship formed so much so to the point where myself, my husband, and this person have gone to concerts together, We've been to his birthday celebrations, we've been to happy hours with him, he has asked about our kids. There's a friendship there, and that friendship didn't just turn off when they showed up at work, but there was still always a mutual respect for one another.

So even at work it was, you're my friend, but also we need to get X, Y, and Z done, and that's just that. And whenever he gave feedback to this person, it was still always done in a respectful way, because you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings, but you also don't want to deal with this issue again.

So we're going to give direct, clear feedback. Always remember that clarity is kindness. So we're not going to beat around the bush. Remember that it's not about avoiding stepping on their toes, because feedback is not personal. It's about the work. And if they take it personally, then maybe we have an offline conversation with [00:14:00] them of Hey man, moving forward, I'm not trying to offend you.

I'm not trying to attack who you are. I just have to be able to call out certain mistakes in the process. Can you get on board with on that with me? Invite that conversation, stretch those conflict resolution skills. All right, that is a wrap for today's episode. I know that stepping up from peer to manager isn't exactly a walk in the park, but remember it is doable with the right mindset and some solid strategies and leaning into that Empathetic Conflict Resolution Management Skills.

If what we talked about today hit home and you're ready to really nail this transition, then I invite you to check out our Trailblazers of Excellence course. It is packed with great tactics, not only strategy, but the real advice of how to apply that strategy, handle conflict, and lead with confidence.

And if you're more focused on building your dream team right now and not diving into all the aspects of being a great manager, then we have another option for you. [00:15:00] It's our Building Your Best Team course. It is free right now. It covers everything from hiring the right people to creating strategic onboarding plans that work, not just those check the box exercises.

Both courses are designed to give you exactly what you need to thrive, whether you're leading your former peers or building a rock stars team from scratch. So don't just sit on what you learned today, take the next step, head over to ConstructionTrailBlazers. com or the links in the show notes to get all the details on that and start your path to being the leader that your team deserves.

As always, we'd love to hear you share your own trailblazing stories with us at hello at construction trailblazers dot com. I'll catch you on next week's episode.